I mean seriously. I have mentioned it before and I will say it again. I HATE dating. This latest foray is just one step closing to me giving up.
I have dated:
- Mr. Super Competitive - He actually threw his putter in my direction when a rousing round of putt putt wasn't going his way.
- Mr. Can My Kid Call You Mom? - Thanks for the heads up that you even HAD a kid!
- Mr. Stalker - Three years later, 60 miles away found me at my new job. Scary!
- Mr. I Only Go On Dates to Get Laid - I bought you dinner, now you OWE me.
- Mr. Pretentious - Completely made fun of me for my uncouth cuisine knowledge at an ethnic restaurant.
- Mr. Future Pastor - I'm going to be a Pastor and you are NOT cut out to be a Pastor's wife.
- Mr. Too Cool for School - I run my own business, I own the world and I am great at sex. Accept my greatness.
- Mr. My Band is Going to Make Me Famous - My band comes first, oh and groupies come second.
- Mr. Football/Basketball/Baseball - Sports and Beer rule my life.
- Mr. Overkill - I changed my FB status to "In a Relationship", this is date # 2. Ruuuuuuuuuunnnnn!!
- Mr. Putt Putt Troll - My all time fav!
- Mr. Halitosis Hal the Serial Proposer - the latest addition.
Mr. Halitosis Hal the Serial Proposer - Shows up looking unkempt with about 1/8 the hair as I was led to believe, breath so bad I could smell upon walking up. He proceeds to question me about past relationships and then drops the bomb on me that he has been engaged THREE times, "Not married, but engaged, more than once. But it's complicated." Uhm what??? Are you ticklish? No. Let me check (READ: I just want an excuse to touch you). This was not the first or last time with the touching (He reached down and tried to tickle my FEET like an hour later!) Repulsive. Then the weird lingery hug. Lastly, the leer and lean as he tried to make a move because I "owed" him for my dinner.
Tonight a phone call to my parents might be on the agenda so they can work on starting the arrangements and preparing my dowry.
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